Tools & Tips

3 Smart Steps Toward Picking -- and Working With -- the Coach You Need

3 Smart Steps Toward Picking -- and Working With -- the Coach You Need

From thebuildnetwork.com
By Howard Morgan & Marshall Goldsmith

If you want coaching to work, you'll need plenty of help from your colleagues.

Step one to snagging the right coach: Figure out what type of coach you need. According to Marshall Goldsmith, Phil Harkins, and Howard Morgan’s The Art and Practice of Leadership Coaching (Wiley, 2004), coaches typically fall into one of five categories: strategic, organizational change/execution, leadership development, personal life/planning, and behavioral.
You might need more than one of the above. But what you need above all else is coaching that works. In an article called "Leadership is a Contact Sport," Goldsmith and Morgan assessed leadership development approaches at eight large companies to determine what worked at all eight. Here’s what they concluded:

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How to Praise Your People

11 Tips For How to Praise Your People
(plus a fill-in-the-blank form for the handwritten note you should send instead)

From thebuildnetwork.com
By Chester Elton, Ross McCammon & Wayne Nemeroff

An inspired staff can boost the bottom line. For example, Harvard Business Review reports that a 0.1 percent increase in employee engagement at Best Buy added $100,000 in annual operating income to each store.
“Employee engagement involves lots of things,” notes Ross McCammon, writing about the Harvard study in Entrepreneur. “But according to Chester Elton — speaker, motivation expert, and co-author of bestselling management book The Carrot Principle — at Best Buy and many other businesses the Harvard study looked at, simple recognition was the single most important factor.”

What’s the best way to provide that recognition? McCammon boils it down to one thing: praise.

Here are his three keys:

Specificity. “Recall a particular situation and describe a specific behavior; acknowledge the impact the behavior or action had on the group or the project or the action or on you,” Dr. Wayne Nemeroff, CEO of PsyMax Solutions in Cleveland, tells McCammon.

Immediacy. “The closer the recognition is to the behavior, the more likely it will be repeated,” writes McCammon.

Sincerity. Drop your compliments into “an e-mail that you’re sending anyway, the beginning of a meeting that’s happening anyway, a team-building exercise.” In these contexts, employees perceive the flattery to be much more spontaneous — and therefore, sincere — than they would if they heard it during, say, an annual review.
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Getting What You Want at Home and at Work

Getting What You Want at Home and at Work
by Michelle DeAngelis

According to the Wall Street Journal, the art of persuasion is becoming an important skill to master in the workplace. Managers say they increasingly must influence - rather than command - others in order to get their own jobs done. This is because managers now work more often with peers where lines of authority aren't clear or don't exist. In response, some companies are helping managers bolster their influencing skills by hiring consulting companies that specialize in classes focused on persuasion and influencing skills. I come across these kinds of situations frequently in my corporate consulting practice and after working with thousands of clients, I came up
with a very effective tool that helps people take action while being an effective and influential leader. Its called the "Magic Wand." I simply ask, "If you had a magic wand, what would you have happen." This helps people get out of the weeds, see past the obstacles, and get focused on action. This then allows them to be more clear and focused when they are making requests and persuading co-workers to follow their lead. It's also an effective tool at home!
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To Cut Office Stress...

To Cut Office Stress, Try Butterflies & Meditation?
by Sue Shellenbarger

Some 70% of Americans know the feeling: Some time during the work day, the stomach tightens. The heart races. Palms grow damp, breathing becomes shallow.

Job pressures are the No. 2 cause of stress after financial worries, a recent survey shows. And while most of us struggle to manage the stress of a demanding boss or a mounting workload on our own, more employers are trying to help. Efforts include earnest-sounding techniques like "mindful communications" and "cognitive behavioral training" as well as office designs featuring leafy, plant-covered walls.

Such stress-busting attempts may have some rolling their eyes, but recent research shows they can actually change the way the brain and body react to stressors. Researchers are using brain imaging and hormone-sampling technology to measure the techniques' physiological impact.
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The Soul of Leadership

"Everybody can be a great leader" - Deepak Chopra on the soul of leadership.

by Marco Visscher

In recent years, Deepak Chopra has made his way from New Age circles to the top of the corporate world, where he lectures to CEOs and business managers. He has written scores of books, including The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, which has been translated into dozens of languages. His latest book, The Soul of Leadership, describes how to become a good leader.

How is spirituality linked to leadership?
"A great leader is an agent of change who has clarity of vision and knows how to make that vision a reality. Such a person comes from a level of core consciousness, which is what we call the soul. Great leaders take time every day to reflect. They ask themselves meaningful questions. They are conscious of what they are observing. They're feeling what is needed and know how to fulfill those needs."  more »

You're Wired To Take Chances

You're Wired To Take Chances
The split-second journey of a risk as it travels through the brain

by Sara Cann

Scientists don't agree on all the areas of the brain that are involved in risk assessment, but there is some consensus, including that some brains are inherently better wired for risk taking. David Ropeik, a Harvard instructor and author of How Risky Is It, Really?, breaks down the landscape for this chain reaction.

1.     THALAMUS: THE ASSESSOR
When a situation presents itself, the thalamus is your news reporter. It soaks up the basics - who, what, where, when, why - and then kicks then info over to the amygdala.

2.    AMYGDALA: THE GUT REACTOR
In just a few milliseconds, your amygdala, which is responsible for emotional responses, reacts to the situation - and it happens before your cortex, which is responsible for decision making, has even gotten the news. You can see where this is going.
Reactions split on gender lines. A University of Southern California study found that men tend to react with fight or flight, but women are more likely to "tend or befriend" - that is, be more nurturing. "From an evolutionary standpoint, taking risks under stress may be less beneficial for females, especially if they are caring for offspring," says study author Nicole Lighthall.

3.    CORTEX: THE REASONER
Around 22 milliseconds after you've registered trouble, your cortex starts reasoning through the situation. The cortex breaks it down and sends signals to other regions of the brain to determine a solution.

4.    VENTRAL STRIATUM: THE GO-GETTER
People who show increased activation in the ventral-striatal region of the brain (which is involved in emotional responses) tend to be more willing to take risks, according to a Stanford University study. Participants in the study were monitored while making investment risks.

5.    INSULA: THE SOFT-STEPPER
People who show an increased activation in the insula region of the brain (which is associated with cognitive reasoning) tend to make more conservative decisions, according to the same study.

SO IF WE'RE ALL HARD WIRED, CAN WE CHANGE HOW WE REACT TO RISK?
"That's really the million-dollar question!" says Joshua Weller, a researcher at the Decision Science Research Institute. "It can be difficult to do, especially if the benefits of engaging in the risky activity are really strong. I would think that one can change their preference for risk, but to make a lasting change, a person would need to repeatedly and consistently approach risky choices in the same manner."

From Fast Company Magazine, November 2011
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The Chrysler Miracle

The Chrysler Miracle
Revived from bankruptcy, the automaker is prepaying its bailout debt. How an Italian saved a Detroit icon.
By Laura Berman

It was two years ago when Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne appeared at the airline-terminal-size Chrysler headquarters near Detroit to address a demoralized staff. They were as skeptical as the rest of the auto industry about their newly installed chain-smoking, sweater-clad, Italian-Canadian CEO and his mission to rescue Chrysler, a company burning through $1 billion a month.

Fast forward to the present, when Chrysler stands out as an improbably bright spot in a still-struggling U.S. economy. Not only is the company showing faster sales growth than its rivals, but paying back its $7.6 billion in US and Canadian loans well ahead of schedule. So when President Obama, who had approved the long-shot bailout and merger with Fiat, visited the Chrysler plant in early June in Toledo, Ohio, were Jeep Wranglers are made, the factory tour had a feeling of a victory lap. "I placed my bet on you," Obama told workers. "What you've done vindicated my faith." Marchionne doesn't mind being part of Obama's PR offensive. "I love Obama to talk about Chrysler," he says. "It's the cheapest bloody advertising I can get."  more »

Optimism 101

Try this simple technique to change your outlook on life!

by Lauren Dzubow
O Magazine, April 2011

Martin Seligman, PhD, the father of positive psychology, gave us a quick lesson on a classic optimism-boosting exercise - which he calls the ABCDEs. The goal, Seligman says, is to get you to stop thinking pessimistically, rather than teach you to start thinking optimistically (which rarely works). "This fix isn't instantaneous," he says. "But we've done studies on it involving thousands of subjects, and we know it's effective." So the next time you experience a setback - anything from a leaky faucet to a fight with a friend - walk yourself through these five steps:

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"Soft Skills" Business Courses Aim to Prepare Students for Managerial Roles

The Wall Street Journal - May 5, 2011

By Melissa Korn and Joe Light

Business schools are tapping into their "soft" side.

This fall, students at Columbia Business School will be invited to learn the art of meditation. Emotions will run high in Stanford Graduate School of Business' long-running "Touchy Feely" course. And professors at the University of California at Berkeley's Haas School of Business will try to teach students to rein in their type-A personalities, lest they upset fellow classmates.

It's all part of a continuing push by business schools to teach "soft skills" - such as accepting feedback with grace and speaking respectfully to subordinates - that companies say are important in molding future business leaders.

Although business schools have traditionally excelled at teaching "hard skills" like finance and accounting, those skills become less relevant as an employee ascends the corporate ladder and moves away from crunching numbers to overseeing employes, companies and experts say.  more »

The Business of Happiness

Fast Company Magazine - March 2011
By Nancy Cook

Marketing professor Jennifer Aaker stands before a blackboard-size mural her Stanford Graduate School of Business students had created. It's a patchwork of 1,300 snapshots of everyday moments: mangos, pink Converse sneakers, cupcakes, beer pong, clean laundry, a convertible, and Halloween. With its bright yellow border, the mural is titled, "This Makes Me Happy." Aaker points to a photo of a latte, its brown and white foam swirled into the shape of a flower. The froth, she tells me, was her happy moment of that day.

Offering a happiness class to the future masters of the universe at one of the country's leading business schools does sound a little touchy-feely. Yet, last fall, 80 of these type-A students signed up for Aaker's graduate level course called "Designing Happiness" - with another 100 clamoring to get in.

But Aaker's work s gaining attention not just in academia but also in corporate America: She worked with AOL, Adobe, and Facebook, among other companies, helping them figure out how to use happiness to increase employees' productivity and woo customers. If her hypotheses are correct, marketing happiness could be one of the few ways businesses can still appeal to people in a manner that feels authentic. "The idea of brands enabling happiness and providing greater meaning in the world is powerful," Aaker says. "People have an aversion to anything that feels overly manufactured."  more »

Make Your Life a Work of Art

"Make my life a “work of art?!”  Is that even possible?  It would be nice just to wake up on time and not get chewed out on the job…but A WORK OF ART - wow!”
 
What would your life look like if it were a work of art?  How would it feel?  How would it sound?  How would you show up and express yourself?
 
I’m serious:  What would you do differently to be a living work of art?  A masterpiece.  A classic.  A thing of beauty!
 
Reveal yourself through the Art of Living!
 
You could transform yourself through what I call “Art art” – painting, dance, sculpture, performance art, theater, writing – or you could show up in life in an artful way – as defined by you!  Graceful, organized, happy, easy?  Or gutsy, edgy, bear-for-breakfast, adrenaline?!
 
My assistant, Vi, loves art and it speaks to her in powerful ways.  She has a print of the Birth of Venus in her home, and looking at it, she relates intimately to the imagery and power of Venus:  reborn, clean slate, gorgeous, awe-inspiring, female force of Nature!  Art inspires her everyday to lean into those traits and go, go, go.

The Mona Lisa.  The statue of David.  Banksy graffiti.  Wagner.  Play-doh.  Maybe a costume made of raw meat?!
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World Laughter Day!

World Laughter Day, held annually on the first Sunday of May, is designed to instigate premeditated hilarity around the globe. According to the World Laughter Day website, the goal of the event - started in 1998 in Mumbai, India - is to "change the world in a peaceful and positive way." So mark your calendar for May 1, 2011, bring your best jokes and get ready to start changing the world - one laugh at a time. For information on how to join the fun, go to worldlaughterday.org.  more »

Defensive Pessimism

Cheer up. Be happy. Find the silver lining. Smile. If you didn't know any better, you might say we are a country that preached optimism. But some 30 to 35 percent of Americans employ a calculated form of negative thinking - called defensive pessimism - that can lead to very positive results, according to Julie K. Norem, PhD, a professor of psychology at Wellesley College.

We're not talking about a general disposition to see the glass half-empty: "Defensive pessimism is a strategy uses in specific situations to manage anxiety, fear, and worry," says Norem, who has conducted seminal research on the subject. "Defensive pessimists," she says, "prepare for a situation by setting low expectations for themselves, then follow up with a very detailed assessment of everything that may go wrong." Once they've imagined the full range of bad outcomes, they start figuring out how they'll handle them and that gives them a sense of control."  more »

The Happiness Bug

"Six degrees of separation" isn't just a good plot line. Science shows the theory has dramatic implications for spreading cheer from one person to the next.

So you know Kevin Bacon? Small world. The theory that everyone on the planet is only a half dozen people away from knowing everyone else was popularized by John Guare's 1993 movie Six Degrees of Separation. Now research by a pair of social scientists might have Hollywood thinking of a sequel: Three Degrees of Connection.

Using statistical analyses of thousands of subjects, a study in the British Medical Journal has shown that happiness actually spreads from person to person, up to three connections away. "So if your friend's friend's friend becomes happier, it ripples through the network and affects you, even if you don't know that person," says author Nicholas Christakis, MD, a medical sociology professor at Harvard Medical School. Proximity plays a part: A happy sibling who is a mile away can increase your probability of happiness by up to 14 percent; a nearby friend by 25 percent; and a next door neighbor by 34 percent. Interestingly, the theory also applies to smoking and obesity, Christakis has shown. "If people around you gain weight, it changes your expectations about what an acceptable body size is," he explains. "Our work strongly suggests that when one person quits smoking, loses weight, or become happy, others around her follow suit. I am reluctant to suggest you pick your friends solely on this basis, but one could say that helping a friend do better is a roundabout way of helping yourself." - Tim Jarvis  more »

Connect With Your Spirit At Work

Motto Magazine
March/April 2007

It's not just good for your soul, it's good for business, as Lynn. A Robinson shows.

Learning to trust your gut at work is much more than simply paying attention to your hunches. It involves looking within for the answers, living life with courage, faith, patience and trust. It also involves connecting with your spirit through daily practice and taking action on wisdom you receive.

Connecting with your spirit at work is apparently good for business as well. A study by the highly respected Wilson Learning Co. found that 39% of the variability in corporate performance is attributable to the personal satisfaction of the staff. Spirituality was cited as the second most important factor in personal happiness (after health) by the majority of Americans questioned in a USA Weekend poll, with 47 percent saying that spirituality was the most important element in their happiness.

What are some of the ways to connect with your spirit at work?  more »

Thank God It's Monday!

by Jyoti Thottam

In Game 5 of the first round of the 1984 NBA play-offs, Isiah Thomas experienced the most remarkable 1 1/2 minutes of his career. Playing for the Detroit Pistons, trailing the New York Knicks in sweltering Joe Louis Arena, Thomas suddenly couldn't miss. With the last quarter slipping away, he scored 16 points in just 94 seconds, forcing the game into overtime. "I remember coming back into the huddle at one time and practically crying because everything was flowing so right," Thomas recalls. Even an eventual loss in the game doesn't tarnish the memory. It was a classic in-the-zone moment. "Your focus is crystal clear. You are seeing and you are feeling things before they really happen. You just instinctively feel and know what's ready to happen."

Those moments are rare, but Thomas says he could feel the euphoria years later. Nice work if you can get it, right? Well, maybe you can. Ask Carol Young. She isn't a pro basketball player, she's a teacher's aids in Santa Monica, Calif. for Kira Sweeney, a blind student, "I'm her eyes," Young says, anticipating Sweeney's needs through every lesson of the day. Young finds bas-relief globes for the student to touch during geography lessons, plants for biology and Braille versions of everything. "While I'm doing my work, I'm not worrying or fussing," Young says. "I'm on a wavelength where I just do what I need to do. It's almost an intuitive thing, like being on automatic pilot." Like Thomas, Young gets emotional thinking about it. "Sometimes I feel as if I assist in miracles." Listen closely, and you can almost hear the cheering fans.  more »

A Cure For Common B.S.

In Beyond Bullsh*t, Samuel Culbert , a professor at UCLA's Anderson School of Management, tries to cure the scourge of cubical culture: excessive b.s.

Why did you write this book?
I wanted to explain why bulls--t has become the etiquette of choice in office life.

How do you define b.s.?
It's telling people what you think they need to hear. It may involve finessing the truth or outright lying, but the purpose is always self-serving. And while I appreciate the role of some b.s. in keeping the corporate peace, it makes people feel beaten up, deceived - even dirty. When people talk straight at work, companies make out better because the best idea usually wins. In contrast, when people are bulls--tting, they hide their mistakes and the company suffers.

What's required to create a culture of straight talk at work?
Straight talk is the product of relationships built on trust. No one advocates something that's good for the company that's not also good for them. By the same logic, no one has ever washed a rental car. The trick is to create a work environment where people feel sure that they'll be rewarded for their ideas.

What does your b.s. detector tell you about the current economy?
Whenever there's a recession, there's a boom in bulls--t.

From Newsweek Magazine
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Detachment is the path to happiness

"To enjoy anything, we cannot be attached to it. What we usually try to do is capture any joy that comes our way before it can escape. We try to cling to pleasure, but all we succeed in doing is making ourselves frustrated because, whatever it promises, pleasure simply cannot last. But if I am willing to kiss joy as it flies, I say, 'Yes, this moment is beautiful. I won't grab it. I'll let it go.' And I live with a mind at peace and heart untroubled. Pleasure comes and goes. When it goes, we don't need to cling to memories of the past happiness or dwell on when it may come again. When we turn to the past yearning, we are running away from the present. When we propel ourselves into the future in anticipation, we are running away from the present. This is the secret that the world's spiritual traditions call detachment: If we don't cling to past or future we live entirely here and now, in 'Eternity's sunrise.' "

Excerpted from Take Your Time (Nilgiri Press, 2006), a mew edition of a collection of talks by the Indian-American spiritual teacher Eknath Easwaran.  more »

What to do when trouble strikes.

By Paulo Coelho

Once a crisis has begun, here are the worst ways to react:

Ignore the problem. Mary knows that John, her husband, is about to be fired from his job, which will make it hard for their family to survive. However, as John doesn't mention the matter, she pretends she doesn't know.

Deny the problem. John, for his part, thinks he will soon find another opportunity, thanks to all the contacts he has made throughout the years, therefore, he doesn't see that he is in a difficult situation. He forgets that one the the hardest rules of life, brought to light by Jesus, is "to those that have little, the little they have will be taken from them." At the moment he loses his job, all these contacts become meaningless, because John will no longer have anything to offer in exchange.

Refuse to ask for help. John and Mary have spent many years together, and know each other extremely well. John is preoccupied with the problems at work, which saps all his energy. Mary could help him -- but pride does not let him share his difficulties. The result is that John sinks further and further into the depths of his difficulties.

Lie or tell half-truths. One day, Mary gathers courage and asks if something is wrong. John answers, "I'm thinking of changing jobs." Clearly, from a literal point of view, this may be considered true. Mary does not say anything else. The pressure John feels now increases, because he suspects his wife knows something, but now that he has lied, he can no longer use the truth to save himself.

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Mood-Boosting Home Improvements

Do you smile when you walk in your door? Tim Jarvis reports on the mood-boosting new field of neuroarchitecture.

O Magazine - March 2008

Anyone fond of coming home to a chilled glass of Chardonnay to help wind down may soon be dreaming of the front door keys rather than a corkscrew. The pleasure is due to a hot new field of design called neuroarchitecture. Emerging research on how factors like light, space, and room layout affect physical and psychological well-being are driving the buzz behind this new intersection of art and science. "The premise is to consider how each feature of the architectural environment influences certain brain processes such as those involved in stress, emotion, and memory," says Eve Edelstein, PhD, adjunct professor at the NewSchool of Architecture and Design in San Diego and research consultant to the Academy of Neuroscience for Architecture (ANFA).  more »

Compassion Meditation Training

Start by closing your eyes and thinking of someone you love. From O Magazine - March 2008

By Sharon Salzberg

Compassion meditation involves silently repeating certain phrases that express the intention to move from judgement to caring, from isolation to connection, from indifference or dislike to understanding. You don't have to force a particular feeling or get rid of unpleasant or undesirable reactions; the power of the practice is in the wholehearted gathering of attention and energy, and concentrating on each phrase. You can begin with a 20-minute session and increase the time gradually until you are meditating for half an hour at a time. If your mind wanders, don't be concerned. Notice whatever has captured your attention, let go of the thought or feeling, and simply return to the phrases. If you have to do that over and over again, it is fine.
  • To begin, take a comfortable position. You may want to sit in a chair or on cushions on the floor (just make sure your back is erect without being strained or overarched). You can also lie down. Take a few deep, soft, breaths to let your body settle.
  • Closing your eyes or leaving them slightly open, start by thinking of someone you care about already - perhaps she's been good or inspiring to you. You can visualize this person or say her name to yourself, get a feeling for her presence, and silently offer phrases of compassion to her. The typical phrases are: "May you be free of pain and sorrow. May you be well and happy." But you can alter these, or use others that have personal significance.
  • After a few minutes, shift your attention inward and offer the phrases of compassion to yourself: "May I be free of pain and sorrow. May I be well and happy."
  • Then, after some time, move on to someone you find difficult. Get a feeling for the person's presence, and offer phrases of compassion to her.
  • Then turn to someone you've barely met -- the supermarket checkout woman or the UPS man. Even without knowing his or her name, you can get a sense of the person, perhaps an image, and offer phrases of compassion.
  • We close with the offering of compassion to people everywhere, to all forms of life, without limit, without exception: "May all beings be free of pain and sorrow. May all be well and happiness."
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5 Things Happy People Do

Definitely try these at home. Gabrielle Leblanc on a few simple actions actions that add up to a formula for joy. From O Magazine - March 2008

Sages going back to Socrates have offered advice on how to be happy, but only now are scientists beginning to address this question with systematic, controlled research. Although many of the new studies reaffirm time-honored wisdom )"Do what you love," "To thine own self be true"), they also add a number of fresh twists and insights. We canvassed the leading experts on what happy people have in common -- and why it's worth trying to become one of them:
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This is Your Brain on Happiness

Circuits in your brain light up when your happy.

Penelope Green talks to the groundbreaking researcher who's discovered how to keep them lit. O Magazine, March 2008.

There are no dark corners in Madison, Wisconsin, a university town that sparkles with endowment and research dollars -- more than $900 million last year -- as well as just plain Midwestern niceness. The grants are well earned: it was at the University of Wisconsin-Madison that the first bone marrow transplant was performed and the first synthetic gene was created. It was here that human stem cells were isolated and cultured in a lab for the first time. And for more than a decade, one of the campus's most productive hit makers has been the Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience, run by a 56-year-old neuroscientist and professor of psychology and psychiatry named Richard J. Davidson, PhD, who has been systematically uncovering the architecture of emotion.

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Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Abraham Maslow is known for establishing the theory of a hierarchy of needs, writing that human beings are motivated by unsatisfied needs, and that certain lower needs need to be satisfied before higher needs can be satisfied.

Maslow studied exemplary people such as Albert Einstein, Jane Addams, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Frederick Douglas rather than mentally ill or neurotic people. This was a radical departure from two of the chief schools of psychology of his day: Freud and B.F. Skinner. Freud saw little difference between the motivations of humans and animals. We are supposedly rational beings; however, we do not act that way. Such pessimism, Maslow believed, was the result of Freud's study of mentally ill people. "The study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy." Skinner, on the other hand, studied how pigeons and white rats learned. His motivational models were based on simple rewards such as food and water, sex, and avoidance of pain. Say "sit" to your dog and give your dog a treat when it sits, and - after several repetitions - the dog will sit when you command it to do so. Maslow thought that psychologists should instead study the playfulness, affection, etc., of animals. He also believed that Skinner discounted things that make humans different from each other. Instead, Skinner relied on statistical descriptions of people.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs was an alternative to the depressing determinism of Freud and Skinner. He felt that people are basically trustworthy, self-protecting, and self-governing. Humans tend toward growth and love. Although there is a continuous cycle of human wars, murder, deceit, etc., he believed that violence is not what human nature is meant to be like. Violence and other evils occur when human needs are thwarted. In other words, people who are deprived of their lower needs such as safety may defend themselves by violet means. He did not believe that humans are violent because they enjoy violence. Or that they lie, cheat, and steal because they enjoy doing it.
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