Tools & Tips
The Power of The Pause - Tibetan Monks & the BACK Technique

A former elementary school teacher, Pema Chodron, 73, was the first American women to be ordained in the Tibetan tradition. As principal teacher at Gampo Abbey, a monestary in Nova Scotia, she has written accessibily and movingly about integrating Buddhist practice into daily life. The following passage is adapted from her 11th book, Taking the Leap.

"If right now our emotional reaction to seeing a certain person or hearing certain news is to fly into rage or get despondent or something equally extreme, it's because we have been cultivating that particular habit for a long time. But as my teacher Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche used to say, we can approach our lives as an experiment. In the next moment, in the next hour, we could choose to stop, slow down, to be still for a few seconds. We could experiment with interrupting the usual chain reaction, and not spin off in the usual way. We don't need to blame someone else, and we don't need to blame ourselves."

"Pausing is very helpful in this process. It creates a momentary contrast between being completely self-absorbed and being awake and present. You just stop for a few seconds, breathe deeply, and move on. Chogyam Trungpa used to refer to this as the gap. In the midding of just living, which is usually a pretty caught-up experience characterized by a lot of internal discussion, you just pause."

"And once you start doing it, pausing nurtures you; you begin to prefer it to being all caught up."

Pema Chodron points our that there IS another way to do things. We can ultimately choose how to respond to a situation instead of reacting. The BACK Technique is a simple, step-by-step process that helps guide you: 

Breathe. Don't react. Just notice that this is a "wow" moment and know that you are officially on the first step of a Joyride.

Acknowledge what you feel as a result of that "wow." That's right. You can react now, on the inside. Feel it. Wallow around in it. But don't set up camp there.

Choose to feel differently. You may think your feelings choose you and that they "just are," but how you feel is a choice. You have some important choices to make: What is your desired outcome? And what do you not want to happen? 

Kick into Gear. Act on your choice by asking yourself, "What would the best me to to get the desired outcome?" and then do it.