Tools & Tips

Audio Class: How to Say No Effectively & Other Great Tips for Living Life & Loving the Ride

In this audio segment, Michelle gives some great tips on how to say "no" (and mean it) in a way that honors your personal integrity and allows you to close your "Gap." She also shares some secrets on how to deal with engery-sucking friends/family/neighbors/etc. Listen up!


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A Good Laugh Each Day Can Boost On-The-Job Morale

One of our Joyriders, Judy Young, is doing some truly amazing work with laughter. In 2005 she participated in a study with psychologists that monitored the impact of self-induced laughter in the workplace. The results were astounding - workers showed improvements in self-regulation on the job, and increases in postitive emotions, optimism and social identificaiton, which can lead to increased productivity and harmony in the workplace. Please take a moment to read about Judy's work - really groundbreaking (and joyful!) stuff.

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Where I Got My "Skippy"

 My dear parents, Dean and Joyce, atop the Great Wall of China decades ago, noshing on Skippy peanut butter and crackers. My parents have always been such living examples of joy. (I mean, look at 'em!) I knew I got my "skippy" from somewhere.
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Choosing the Right Executive Coach

 A large part of my business, Michelle Inc., involves corporate consulting and executive coaching of managers and employees from various fields. I help people define their goals, find balance in their busy schedules, improve their communication, and give people real, practical solutions to the problems they face at work and in life. I ran across this article in the Wall Street Journal a while back and thought I would share it with you. If anyone has ever considered hiring a corporate coach, these tips should help you find the right coach and succeed with them:
 
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Getting What You Want at Work

According to the Wall Street Journal, the art of persuasion is becoming an important skill to master in the workplace. Managers say they increasingly must influence - rather than command - others in order to get their own jobs done.

This is because managers now work more often with peers where lines of authority aren't clear or don't exist. In response, some companies are helping managers bolster their influencing skills by hiring consulting companies that specialize in classes focused on persuasion and influencing skills.

I come across these kinds of situations frequently in my corporate consulting practice. A technique of my own invention that I have been using is called the "Magic Wand." It helps to manifest effective and influential leaders by getting people to see new possibilities, overcome obstacles, and take action. I simply ask, "If you had a magic wand, what would you have happen." It gets people focused when they are making requests and persuading co-workers to follow their lead. Like magic.

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Choose. You Always Have a Choice.

This gorgeous photo is from my friend Teri, who caught the sunrise from the road in Kansas. The majestic, fiery colors of this summer sunrise reminded me of choosing. Sometimes it's a hard choice, but I do choose to get up early (really early) and get myself to the gym every morning so that I can feel healthy and energetic. It is only by choosing that I'm able to get my butt out of my warm, comfy bed at o'dark thirty to exprience the magic of a sunrise (unless I stayed up all night, which is also a choice ).
 
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The Greatest Obstacle to Happiness & How to Overcome It

From Advanced Formula For Total Success
By Dr. Robert Anthony

All unhappiness is caused by denial of the present. We think problems are caused by our situations in life, but attachment to the past and future and denial of the now is the real problem. Ultimately then, there is only one problem in life - not living in the now.


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A Little Bit of Nature: 7am in the Rockies

One of the ways I choose to honor my health daily is by taking time to appreciate nature. Usually I'll step out onto my balcony and take a long, deep breath of ocean air, notice the vibrant colors of the sunset and find a moment to clear my mind of all the deadlines and items on my to-do list. I just take it all in - whatever is there in that moment. This 2-minute nature retreat allows me to "fill up" and feed my spirit. There's something really special about nature and the aliveness of the planet! I encourage you to give yourself a minute - whether you live in the mountains or the desert - to notice something that is beautiful and alive around you.

My friend Teri is a talented photographer and also takes time every day to appreciate the magic of nature. Check out her gorgeous photos of the Rocky Moutains on an early Summer morning.
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Kindle Version of "Get a Life That Doesn't Suck" Now Available!

I am thrilled to announce that the Kindle version of my book Get a Life That Doesn't Suck is now available on Amazon.com for just $9.99! You can get it here. And for those iPhone addicts out there, you can read the book on your phone with Amazon's Kindle Application for iPhone. It's a free application that allows you to download your favorite books right to your iPhone. The Kindle for iPhone also allows you to read the first chapter of Kindle books for free before you decide to buy! Pretty cool!
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Happiness: A User's Manual

I came across this article in New York Magazine a while ago and I thought it was genius. Who wouldn't love a handy user's manual for how to live your best life? Sign me up. Here are twenty strategies adapted from scientific research and applied to living in the big city.
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Positive Psychology - Why it works

A growing number of therapists are employing "positive psychology" in their practice. The treatment focuses primarily on the affirmative aspects of a patient's life with the goal of helping them feel more optimistic and fulfilled. One patient observes, "If you focus on what makes you feel good or things you're good at, it's logical you would feel better." Makes sense to me! Read more about this growing trend in psychology and coaching after the jump.

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Changing the world with personal acountability

From Terry Tempest Williams, author of Mosiac: Finding Beauty in a Broken World:

I am writing from the county jail in Soda Springs, Idaho, where I'm doing time for speeding without a valid driver's license: 48 mph in a 35 mph zone. My initial response to Eve was, "We can change the world through meaningful conversation." But now, with my back against the cinder block wall in a pod with 12 other women, most here because of addiction to crystal meth, I've changed my mind.

My bail was $200, which I could have paid, but a voice inside me said, Perhaps this is where you belong. You might learn something. And so, after a call to my husband, who thought I was joking, I was fingerprinted and photographed, replacing my black outfit and Prada slippers with an orange jumsuit and matching Keds. When I entered the pod, one of the women said, "I'm here because of speed, what are you in here for?" I looked at her. "Speed of a different nature..."

I thought I was above the law. I thought I was someone special. But walking in a circle with other women for our exercise break, all in the same orange garb, I realized how small mistakes and oversights do escalate into bigger ones. I think we will change the world by accepting personal responsibility for our actions. All of them. To be accountable for what we do and do not do, and then have the courage to face the consequences, will create an outward spiral of honesty necessary for a more conscious and authentic life.



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The Health Benefits of Laughter

One of my readers forwarded me an article about the positive health benefits of laughing. Laughter is the best medicine! But what is really amazing is that the health benefits of laughter can be induced without humor  - meaning you can genuinely make yourself laugh. Read on to find out how it works.
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Doing the right thing - even if it means losing

I subscribe to the "Good News Letter" from the Foundation for a Better Life and it always brightens my day to read the true stories about friendship, motivation, peace, excellence, and in this case, sportsmanship.
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Spreading our wings!

I have some very special house guests this Spring - an adorable family of finches who built their nest on my balcony. A few weeks ago, the eggs hatched and I have had the joy of observing the these little creatures as they sing, eat and grow. I only have a few more weeks until they spread their wings and fly the coop! Take a look at the video of them this morning at breakfast!
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Beyond words: Often, simply being there is what really matters.

From Ode Magazine July/August 2009

Psychology professor Sheldon Cohen of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, studied the effect of family visits on hospital patients and found that the presence of loved ones—whether they knew what to say or not—assisted recovery. Just being there was what mattered. Well beyond words.
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Noise pollution can damage your health and shatter your peace of mind. Here’s how to turn it down.

Noise brings out the worst in human beings -- noisy people have been injured and even killed by their neighbours -- but neighbours are just one source of noise in a world that's increasingly cacophonous. Neighbourhoods can turn into battlegrounds when clubs, restaurants, automobile sound systems and parties are acoustically unrestrained. The roadway clamour made by cars and trucks, the oppressive roar of low-flying aircraft, the rumble of commuter trains and the screeching of subway cars compound the challenges of daily life in the city or suburbs. Construction work generates lots of noise, and lots of noise complaints to civil authorities. Indoor sources include ventilation systems, office machines, home appliances, TVs and computer games.

Noise isn't just a nuisance; it's positively bad for us. We've known for decades that super-loud noise can deafen us. But damaged hearing is just the beginning. A jet flying overhead or a snoring bedmate can increase blood pressure and heart rate even when we don’t stir from our slumber. Stress hormones surge into the bloodstream. Doctors worry that this chain of events creates health problems when it happens all night long, every night of the week. The ability of children to learn is compromised by noise. Noise may worsen some mental illnesses, and even people without previous mental health issues can become downright crazy when exposed to loud noise.
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Books that will make you smile :-)

It is often hard to find time to read, but picking up a good book - just for the fun of it - can really change your day. O Magazine had some fabulous suggestions for feel-good reads.
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Say what you mean - Communication without saying a word

From Ode Magazine July/August 2008
By Ronald Ligtenberg

In Western society, the emphasis is on the spoken or written word. We're extremely aware of the words we use and pay piles of attention to using the right ones. However, only a small portion of our communication takes place in words. American anthropologist Ray Birdwhistell posited that a majority of communication happens unconsciously. He says the words we speak only account for 35 percent of what we convey. The remaining 65 percent is spoken through by body language, facial expressions, gestures, movements, eye movements and the use of our senses. Moreover, according to 20th-century British psychologist Michael Argyle, non-verbal signals have a much stronger effect than verbal content.

Yet we pay little attention to this silent non-verbal communication. Why? I suspect we’re looking for ways to conceal our underlying motives. Simply saying what we think or want is too confrontational, too direct. The use of words makes it easier to convince someone—or deceive them.
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Movies that are good for you

From O Magazine - May 2009

A great film can stir the soul. Cultural critic Caryn James has five for your Netflix queue. Butter the popcorn, dim the lights, and prepare for uplift.
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Train your mind to stop worrying

Do you spend a lot of time worrying? If you're a human being, chances are you've spent at least some time concentrating on the "what if's"of life. I believe that your thoughts affect your life in a very powerful and very real way. So thinking, "I'm afraid I won't get the job," actually increases the likelihood of not getting the job. Bummer. Luckily, learning how to stop those negative, anxious thoughts from entering your mind is possible, but it can be tough to start. Joseph Goldstein, author of One Dharma: The Emerging Western Buddhism, offers some advice on how to train your brain to stop worrying.
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Forming a Healthy Relationship with your Problems

It's all about mindfullness. Imagine that you've got a problem - a nagging, distracting, consuming life situation that you are spending way too much time thinking about. Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself From Chronic Unhappiness, explains that once you can "let it be" - instead of trying to force yourself to "get over it" or "let it go" - you are acknowledging the fact that the mind simply won't let go and the problem may not go away. This allows you to have a healthier relationship with what's bothering you.
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Happy at your job? It's how you look at it

Tal Ben-Shahar's class on happiness was Harvard University's most popular course last year, surpassing Introduction to Economics. He was in the Los Angeles area speaking to the Professional Leaders Project, a workshop for young Jewish professionals. Here is his interview with the Los Angeles Times on work and happiness.
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Make Goals Not Resolutions

Dan Heath and Chip Heath, authors of Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, explain the difference between goals and resolutions and what your business can learn from it. When people take the time to vizualize exactly when and where they will do something, they meet their goals. What works for exercise and eating right also works for marketing and operations.
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